Existential Therapy
Therapy for questions that don't always have answers.
The Human Condition
What does it mean to exist? Why are we here? How do we find meaning in a world that may not inherently provide it?
Human beings have grappled with these questions for centuries, constructing elaborate philosophical and religious systems in an attempt to understand the nature of our existence. Yet, despite our efforts, many of life's most profound questions remain unanswered.
We are born into a world we did not choose, confronted with circumstances we cannot always control, and tasked with making decisions whose outcomes we can never fully predict. We form relationships, pursue meaning, experience joy and suffering, and eventually confront the reality of our own mortality.
Existential psychotherapy concerns itself with these fundamental realities of being human.
Drawing from existential philosophy, this approach explores themes of freedom, responsibility, isolation, mortality, and the search for meaning. Rather than viewing these concerns as problems to be solved, existential therapy recognizes them as inherent aspects of the human experience.
Our awareness of these realities can produce considerable anxiety. We may question whether we have made the right choices, whether our lives have meaning, or whether the beliefs we have relied upon are as certain as we once imagined.
​
Yet, existential anxiety is not necessarily an indication that something is wrong. It may instead reflect our awareness of the uncertainty and responsibility that accompany existence.
The question, then, is not simply how we might eliminate this anxiety, but what we can learn about ourselves through our willingness to confront it.
The Courage to Live Without Certainty
French existentialist philosopher Jean-Paul Sartre argued that human beings are "condemned to be free." Although we do not choose the circumstances into which we are born, we are continually confronted with the responsibility of deciding how to live within them.
This freedom can be deeply unsettling.
We often look outside ourselves for reassurance that we are making the right decisions. We seek guidance from our families, communities, religions, and cultural expectations, hoping that somewhere there exists a definitive answer to how we ought to live.
Yet, even when we adopt the beliefs and values of others, we remain responsible for our relationship with those beliefs.
There is an unavoidable uncertainty in this responsibility. We cannot know with absolute certainty whether our choices will lead to fulfillment, whether our understanding of the world is correct, or whether the meaning we have constructed will remain intact as our lives change.
Faced with this uncertainty, we may attempt to distract ourselves through the trivialities of everyday life, avoid difficult decisions, or cling to familiar ways of being that no longer serve us.
These attempts to escape existential anxiety are understandable. However, our avoidance can gradually become a source of suffering in itself.
Existential psychotherapy encourages us to examine the ways we relate to uncertainty, particularly when our desire for security begins to restrict our freedom.
Perhaps the goal is not to become certain of our choices, but to develop the courage to make them despite our uncertainty.
Suffering and the Search for Meaning
Suffering is an inevitable part of the human experience. We encounter loss, disappointment, isolation, and circumstances that challenge our understanding of ourselves and the world.
No matter how carefully we construct our lives, we cannot entirely protect ourselves from these experiences.
I have often thought of suffering as a hydra: even when we manage to eliminate one source of distress, another will inevitably arise. This does not mean that our efforts to alleviate suffering are futile, but that a life entirely free from suffering is an impossible expectation.
Existential philosophy asks us to reconsider our relationship with this inevitability.
Viktor Frankl, an existential thinker and psychiatrist, emphasized our capacity to discover meaning even amid circumstances of profound suffering. This does not suggest that suffering is inherently meaningful or that we should seek it out. Rather, it acknowledges that we may retain some capacity to determine how we respond to circumstances we cannot change.
There is also something profoundly unsettling about the possibility that existence may have no predetermined meaning.
We may spend our lives searching for an ultimate purpose, only to discover that the nature of our existence remains beyond our comprehension.
​
Yet, our inability to fully understand existence does not prevent us from experiencing joy, connection, curiosity, and fulfillment.
Perhaps meaning is not something we must definitively discover before we can begin living. Perhaps it emerges through our relationships, our values, and the ways we choose to engage with the world.
Existential psychotherapy does not promise answers to these questions. Instead, it provides an opportunity to examine the beliefs and assumptions that shape our lives and to consider how we might live meaningfully alongside uncertainty.
Two Humans In A Room
One of the most compelling aspects of existential psychotherapy is its emphasis on the therapeutic relationship itself.
Each of us experiences the world through a unique subjective perspective. Our understanding of reality is shaped by our personal histories, relationships, cultures, beliefs, and the meanings we assign to our experiences.
Even when two people encounter the same circumstances, their experiences may be profoundly different.
This is where phenomenology becomes central to my work.
Phenomenology concerns itself with understanding experience as it is lived by the individual. Rather than immediately attempting to explain, categorize, or interpret another person's experience, we begin by exploring how that experience presents itself to them.
I believe this requires considerable humility on the part of the therapist.
No matter how much knowledge or clinical experience I acquire, I can never fully inhabit another person's subjective world. I may develop a deeper understanding of their experiences through conversation, but I must also recognize the limitations of my own perspective.
Existential psychotherapy draws upon Martin Buber's concept of the I–Thou relationship, which emphasizes genuine human connection rather than treating another person as an object to be analyzed.
In therapy, this means approaching the relationship as an encounter between two human beings, each bringing their own experiences and understanding of the world into the room.
I have always found the concept of adopting a "therapist persona" somewhat off-putting. Although I bring clinical knowledge and training into my work, I do not see myself as someone who possesses the answers to another person's existence.
I prefer to approach therapy as a fellow traveler, joining my clients in exploring questions that may not have simple resolutions.
This does not mean that therapy lacks direction or that I abandon my responsibility as a clinician. Rather, it means recognizing that meaningful therapeutic work requires more than the application of techniques.
It requires genuine curiosity, a willingness to challenge our assumptions, and the courage to encounter another person without presuming that we already understand them.
Through this relationship, we can begin to examine the ways we experience ourselves, the meanings we assign to our circumstances, and the possibilities for change that may have previously remained outside our awareness.
My relationship with existential philosophy began long before I became a psychotherapist.
As a child, I frequently found myself contemplating mortality, the nature of the universe, and the possibility of an existence without any inherent purpose. I remember feeling particularly unsettled by the realization that the adults around me, whom I had once assumed possessed some greater understanding of the world, were unable to provide definitive answers to these questions.
Growing up between different religious and cultural perspectives only deepened my curiosity. I encountered conflicting explanations about the nature of existence, often presented with equal conviction, and struggled to understand how anyone could determine which perspective was ultimately correct.
This curiosity eventually led me to study philosophy.
I immersed myself in different philosophical traditions and religious perspectives, hoping to develop a clearer understanding of the world. Yet, the more I explored these ideas, the more apparent it became that human beings have never fully grasped the nature of our existence.
When I eventually encountered existentialism, I found something that resonated deeply with me.
​
Here were philosophers who acknowledged the uncertainty of existence and were willing to confront it without necessarily appealing to an ultimate explanation. Rather than attempting to resolve every contradiction, they examined what it meant to live with the knowledge that some questions may remain unanswered.
Years later, discovering existential psychotherapy felt like a natural extension of this philosophical interest.
I was drawn to an approach that recognized the profound influence of our beliefs about existence on our psychological well-being. It offered a way to explore not only the immediate concerns that bring people into therapy, but also the deeper questions about identity, meaning, freedom, and responsibility that often exist beneath them.
My philosophical orientation continues to influence how I understand psychological suffering.
I believe that many of the difficulties we encounter involve a confrontation between our expectations of the world and the realities of our existence. We may struggle when our relationships fail to provide the security we desire, when our identities no longer align with the expectations placed upon us, or when circumstances challenge beliefs we have held for much of our lives.
I also recognize that our capacity for freedom is shaped by the cultural, relational, and social environments in which we exist. We do not make choices in isolation, and it would be a mistake to assume that every individual has access to the same possibilities.
For this reason, I view existential psychotherapy as a philosophical foundation rather than a rigid collection of techniques. I integrate elements of Gestalt therapy, Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT), and other approaches when they can help translate philosophical exploration into meaningful changes in everyday life.
I do not believe that any single therapeutic modality can adequately address the complexities of human experience.
What continues to draw me toward existential psychotherapy is its willingness to acknowledge those complexities without reducing them to something that must be immediately corrected or resolved.
I believe there is value in learning how to sit with the unanswered questions of our existence, to become more curious about our experiences, and to recognize the possibilities that remain available to us even amid uncertainty.
We may never fully understand why we are here. Yet, we are still tasked with living our lives, forming relationships, making choices, and finding reasons to care about the world around us.
For me, there is something profoundly human in that struggle.
Why Existentialism Matters to Me
You do not need to be interested in philosophy to benefit from existential psychotherapy.
Questions about meaning, identity, freedom, and uncertainty often emerge through ordinary experiences, including relationship difficulties, grief, religious trauma, significant life transitions, and feelings of disconnection or dissatisfaction.
My approach offers an opportunity to explore these experiences with curiosity and without the expectation that every question must have a definitive answer.
If this perspective resonates with you, I welcome the opportunity to explore it together.