Shame & Self-Criticism Therapy
in Denver
Move beyond the belief that you're fundamentally "not enough" and begin building a more compassionate, accepting relationship with yourself.
Many people come to therapy believing that if they could just be more confident, more successful, more productive, or more lovable, they would finally feel "good enough." Yet even after achieving goals, receiving reassurance, or doing everything they think they should, that feeling never comes. When shame becomes part of the way we see ourselves, it can mold our relationships and decisions in ways that are difficult to untangle. Therapy offers a space to understand where these beliefs came from and loosen their grip.
My office is conveniently located on the Westminster/Arvada border, making in-person therapy accessible for clients throughout the Denver metro area, including Westminster, Arvada, Broomfield, Wheat Ridge, Lakewood, and Northwest Denver. I also offer secure online therapy for adults anywhere in Colorado.
You might be here because...
-
You constantly feel like you're falling short, no matter how much you accomplish.
-
Your inner voice is far harsher than you would ever be toward someone you care about.
-
You struggle to believe compliments or recognize your own strengths.
-
You often feel like a burden or an imposter.
-
You find yourself people-pleasing or trying to earn your worth through achievement.
-
Making mistakes feels deeply personal, leaving you overwhelmed with embarrassment.
-
You have difficulty accepting care or kindness because part of you believes you don't deserve it.
-
You long to experience yourself with the same compassion you naturally extend to others.
Understanding Your Experience
Shame is different from guilt. Guilt says, "I made a mistake." Shame says, "There is something wrong with me."
​
These beliefs often grow from experiences where love felt conditional, criticism outweighed encouragement, emotions were dismissed, or you learned that being accepted meant becoming someone other than yourself. Over time, these experiences can become internalized, leaving you with an inner critic that continues saying harsh things, yet now in your own voice.
​
While this inner critic can feel relentless, it often began as an attempt to protect you. If you could criticize yourself first, perhaps others couldn't hurt you as much. If you could become perfect, helpful, successful, or invisible enough, maybe you could avoid rejection altogether. These strategies often made sense at one point in your life, but they can also leave you exhausted and disconnected from yourself.
​​
In my therapy room, I will never replace your inner critic with paper-thin, forced positivity. I'm here to sit with you as we begin to understand how these beliefs developed, recognizing the protective role they've played, and gradually build self-worth that you don't have to "earn."
How I Often Approach This Work
Shame rarely exists on its own. It often touches the way we relate to ourselves, our relationships, our ambitions, and even the way we imagine our future. Rather than focusing solely on changing thoughts or reducing symptoms, I integrate several therapeutic approaches that help us understand where shame comes from, soften the inner critic, and build a more compassionate relationship with yourself.
Gestalt Therapy
Acceptance & Commitment Therapy
Psychodynamic Therapy
.jpg)
Parts Work
Related Areas We Can Explore Togther
Shame often exists beneath many of the struggles that bring people to therapy. As we work toward greater self-compassion, you may also find yourself exploring other questions.
Identity Exploration
Anxiety
.jpg)
Attachment Wounds
Existential Concerns & Meaning
Perfection & Self-Worth
Religious Trauma
Frequently Asked Questions
What's the difference between shame and guilt?
Guilt is the feeling that you've done something wrong. Shame is the belief that you are somehow fundamentally wrong. While guilt can help us repair relationships after mistakes, shame often leaves us feeling stuck and afraid of being truly seen.
Can therapy help with a harsh inner critic?
Yes. Rather than trying to silence your inner critic through willpower, therapy helps us understand why it developed, what it's trying to protect you from, and how to build a more compassionate relationship with yourself over time.
Why do I always feel like I'm not enough?
Feelings of inadequacy often develop through repeated experiences where acceptance and/or safety felt conditional. These beliefs can become so familiar that they feel like facts rather than learned patterns. Therapy helps you recognize where these beliefs came from and begin relating to yourself differently.
Can shame affect my relationships?
Absolutely. Shame often influences the way we experience intimacy, conflict, vulnerability, boundaries, and trust. It may lead us to hide parts of ourselves, seek constant reassurance, people-please, or push others away before they can reject us.
Will therapy just teach me to "think positive?"
No. Healing shame isn't about pretending everything is okay or replacing negative thoughts with positive ones. I'm not here to promote toxic positivity. Therapy with me will be centered around understanding the nuance behind your experiences and developing a relationship with yourself that isn't organized around constant self-judgment.
Is self-criticism always a bad thing?
Not necessarily. Self-reflection and accountability can be healthy. The problem arises when criticism becomes your primary way of motivating yourself or relating to your own humanity. Therapy helps distinguish between healthy growth and chronic self-condemnation.